


wikihow to kiss a boy

by lieu42



Category: Teen Titans (Comics), Teen Titans - All Media Types, Young Justice (Comics), Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: First Kiss, House Party, M/M, Spin the Bottle, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-26 01:17:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19757620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lieu42/pseuds/lieu42
Summary: it turs out tim has never kissed anyone. he goes to kon for advice.(the waynes have a house party. it is not their house (nobody knows whose house it is, actually.) kon has an enlightening conversation with a vegan, loses tim completely, and nearly gets caught up in a very awkward game of spin the bottle. of course, it ends with a kiss.)some underage drinking, like 2 swears, smol kiss, but otherwise its pretty pg clean





	wikihow to kiss a boy

Conner has not been to a Wayne party before. It is an experience.

The first remarkable thing about Wayne parties is that they don’t seem to be run by the Waynes at all. Apparently it’s Dick or Jason who throws them, and Conner knows most of the Titans are here, but there also seems to be a hell of a lot of people he’s never seen before in his entire life. Perhaps they’re paid partygoers. (Is that a real thing? He’s heard Gar talk about it, but he’s learnt to take everything Gar says with a pinch of salt.)

Tim seems to know a lot of the people, though. Whether it’s due to previous parties or actual prior knowledge, Conner has no idea. Pretty much as soon as they get out of the taxi, not even on the grounds yet, a boy runs up to them.

(Another remarkable thing about Wayne parties is that they are not held at Wayne Manor. Conner knows he must be somewhere in Gotham, but he has no idea where. He also doesn’t know who owns this house, and neither does Tim. Which is mildly concerning.)

‘Tim!’ the boy yells, stumbling up at the street. He’s maybe Conner’s age, probably younger, definitely not old enough to be this drunk.

‘Hey,’ says Tim, half-smiling. ‘How long have you been here?’

‘Don’t know,’ the guy says, cheerfully approaching to Tim and Conner. ‘I just got drunk and watched old Queer Eye episodes. Who’s your boyfriend?’

Conner flushes. The boy is too drunk to notice.

‘This is Conner,’ Tim says, which makes Conner blush even more. (Stupid Kryptonian blood vessels.) ‘Maybe go drink some water?’ 

Conner isn’t sure if Tim’s talking to him or the drunk guy.

‘Okay. Will do.’ The boy kisses Tim on the cheek then wanders away, shouting, ‘I love you, bro. Full homo.’

Conner turns to Tim. ‘Do you even know him?’

‘Only kind of. I got really drunk with him once and had one of the most interesting conversations I’ve ever had. Surreal on another level.’ Tim shakes his head. Conner’s not sure if he’s kidding.

‘You just let him kiss you?’

‘It bother you?’ Tim turns to Conner, a smile toying at his lips.

‘No, I - I - No. I just -’

Tim laughs. ‘I also think he might be a gangster. Actually, I am fairly certain he’s a gangster. So I don’t want to annoy him. Don’t worry, I don’t just let random guys kiss me.’

‘Okay. Sorry, I know it’s none of my business anyway -’

‘You need to worry less, Kon. It’s fine, really.’

Tim grips Conner’s hand, and he immediately forgets whatever he was worrying about. They walk onto the grounds like that, approaching the manor house and dodging scattered couples and red Solo cups.

‘Tim?’ says another guy Conner doesn’t recognise, grinning.

‘Hey,’ says Tim, but Conner isn’t listening. He’s noticed Cassie in the doorway of the manor, waving frantically. He nudges Tim.

‘Go meet her, Kon. I’ll be along in a sec.’ Tim smiles, then turns back to the guy.

Against his better judgement, Conner goes up to meet Cassie.

Several drinks that may or may not have been alcoholic later, Conner is in the kitchen of the manor, leaning against the bar and having a slightly spaced-out conversation with a girl he’s never seen before in his life. Either the Waynes have a lot of connections with people Conner doesn’t know, or he’s wasted and lost his entire memory. He hopes for the former.

‘I gotta go find my friend,’ he says to the girl, who is trying to convince Conner to become vegan with little impact.

‘You keep saying that,’ she says, ‘and then you never actually go look for him.’

She is not wrong. Conner hasn’t seen Tim for probably a few hours now. It’s dark outside already.

Conner checks his phone, then remembers he’s out of data, like always. Clark isn’t the worst semi-parent someone could have, but he’s absolutely awful at remembering regular stuff like phone bills. Conner’s going to have to find a job pretty soon if he wants to uphold any idea of a social life.

‘So, uh, what’s your name again?’ says the girl, finishing another drink.

‘Conner.’

‘You a Wayne boy? Hey, if you are, could you get me a scholarship? I heard Bruce Wayne just hands them out to whoever -’

Conner decides veganism is probably not for him, and makes an exit.

The manor is huge. Not Wayne Manor-huge, but pretty close. Conner finds himself in a seemingly unpenetrable maze of corridors. There seems to be music coming from everywhere, and he’s stopped looking into bedrooms after the first few.

‘Hey!’ Someone shouts after Conner, and he spins round.

‘Jason?’ he says.

Jason leans against the wall, a wide grin on his face. ‘Calvin, right? No. Wait. Cameron? It begins with a K. Or a C. Give me a clue?’

‘It’s a C.’

‘Oh, I didn’t mean actually give me clues. I was joking. People never tell when I’m joking, especially not Bruce. Bruce has no sense of humour. He sucks.’

Jason inhales, taking in Conner’s perplexed expression, then continues. ‘You’re Conner, which I know because Tim is nine hundred percent gay for you and never talks about anyone else.’ Jason coughs, muttering something about spiked drinks.

‘Right. Okay.’ Conner is painfully aware he’s probably bright red. ‘Uh, have you seen Tim?’

‘Tim? No. Don’t think so. Everyone else is in one of the living rooms. They have a massive TV. I don’t have a TV in my apartment. Because Dick broke it. I told you about that, right? He put the Wii right through it and short-circuited my whole house. He’s such a bad loser. I have a wine fridge, though. I bought it from Ebay. Oh wait, no I didn’t.’ Jason frowns. ‘I think I maybe stole it? Or maybe it was Roy. I don’t know.’

Conner makes an excuse and leaves Jason in the corridor, talking to nobody about gin.

Everybody does indeed seem to be in the nearest living room. He can identify pretty much all the Titans, plus a fair few of the old Titans.

‘Conner! I didn’t even know you were here!’ Bart bounces up to Conner. Conner hugs him then discreetly takes away his drink. Bart is way too young for this sort of party.

‘Anyone seen Tim?’ Conner says. The room is silent.

‘Great, just great,’ he says, considering going back out to talk to the vegan girl.

‘Come sit with us,’ says Cassie, patting a beanbag. ‘We’re not doing much.’

Conner reluctantly sits down, sipping Bart’s drink. It tastes faintly of vodka. Good job the kid has a decent metabolism.

‘We should do something,’ says Gar, yawning. ‘This party is dead.’

‘Like what?’ says Kori.

‘Like, party games or something. I came here for that sort of thing.’

‘You’re all way too young for that kind of thing,’ says Dick.

‘Let’s play Spin the Bottle,’ says Cassie, sprawling out on the thick carpet.

Several people groan.

‘I’ll play Spin the Bottle,’ says Gar.

‘Seriously?’ says Raven.

‘We might as well,’ says Roy. ‘Not like we’re doing much else.’

Before Conner can make excuses, his phone buzzes in his pocket. Tim.

He hurries a little way out into the corridor, and knocks straight into Tim before he can even answer his phone.

‘Oh, hey,’ says Tim. ‘I’ve been looking for you for  _ ages.  _ Where’ve you been?’

‘Looking for you.’

‘You could’ve called.’ Tim rolls his eyes, grinning.

‘I have no data.’

‘Get someone to hotspot you, then. I forgot you’re broke.’

‘Well, I guess I found you now.’ Conner changes the subject.

‘No shit, Sherlock.’

‘Fuck you, Watson.’

‘Are you drunk yet? You sound it.’

‘Not as much as I’d like to be.’

‘You seen Jason? He’s practically comatose.’

‘Not gonna lie, this isn’t a great party.’

‘Honestly, yeah. I’ll tell Dick to get somewhere with a pool next time.’

‘Stop flexing, Tim.’

‘I’m not even that rich, Kon. You’re just hugely broke by comparison.’

‘Bruce is literally one of the richest people on the planet.’

‘And Jason can’t even afford a new TV because Bruce refuses to pay for it. Anyway, you find anyone else?’

‘They’re all in there.’ Conner gestures up the corridor. ‘I think they’re going to play Spin the Bottle.’ He pauses, gauging Tim’s reaction.

Tim hesitates. ‘You going to play?’

‘Don’t know. I might if you will.’

Tim slides down the wall, sitting cross-legged and yawning. ‘Give me a minute.’

Conner sits down next to him, trying to figure out something intelligent to say. Alcohol is probably clouding his brain.

Tim shuts his eyes. He must be tired. They’ll probably head back soon, especially since Conner is kind of done with this party. He’s not completely sure about playing Spin the Bottle, either. It sounds dumb for a fourteen-year-old to admit, but he’s never played Spin the Bottle before. It was always a game played at the kind of parties he either didn’t get invited to or just didn’t turn up for. Smallville’s not exactly party central, though.

(He hopes Tim doesn’t assume it’s just because nobody’s kissed him before. Because that actually isn’t true. There have been several girls in the past, and one semi-drunk crash course in kissing from a fit guy in a bar in Gotham. Which probably wasn’t the best grounds for a first kiss, but at least Conner would consider himself a semi-decent kisser. He’s not hugely worried about embarrassing himself, but he’s kind of worried about  _ who  _ he might have to kiss.)

Tim opens one eye. ‘Kon?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Look, this is probably going to sound embarrassing as hell, but… uh. Promise me you won’t laugh, right?’

‘I promise,’ says Conner, though he’s kind of terrified about what Tim might say. It’s the sort of party where literally anything could have happened.

‘I’ve never kissed anyone before. And  _ that  _ is why I’m lowkey terrified of playing Spin the Bottle.’

Conner is surprised. He’s relieved first (it could’ve been worse) but then he’s surprised. Tim Drake-Wayne has never kissed anyone before? He’s a Wayne. He could probably get action anywhere he wanted. And besides, it’s not like he’s unattractive. (He could probably be considered hot. Not that Conner thinks he’s hot, or anything, but he’s kind of hot.)

‘You’re fourteen, though. You have time,’ says Conner.

‘I think Jason and Dick were both about ten their first times, but yeah.’

‘It’s Spin the Bottle, though. You don’t exactly have to kiss the other person  _ well _ .’

Tim sighs. ‘You’re probably right, but I would literally have no clue. And I’m too scared to ask the internet.’

‘WikiHow it, right?’

Tim smiles. ‘Yep. WikiHow to Kiss Someone. I feel like this would probably go into sketchy territory real fast.’

‘You’re not wrong. The amount of totally innocent stuff I’ve searched and come up with really dodgy results -’

‘Let’s not go there.’ Tim raises an eyebrow. ‘But, uh - I was going to ask you about it, actually. This already seems super awkward, but, uh, do you have any tips?’

‘Nice to see you assuming I kiss people all the time.’

Tim flushes. ‘Get over yourself.’

‘I think it’s kind of recommended to learn by doing. So, uh, my advice would be to play Spin the Bottle.’

‘Do I go tongue?’

‘I don’t even know. Depends what the other guy does. Like, if you’re not comfortable with that, don’t. If the other person isn’t a complete dick, they’ll understand. And, like, tilt your head sideways so you don’t smash noses.’

‘Which way? Is there a set way?’

‘Whichever way leads to you not smacking heads, Tim. It’s not like you’re being marked out of ten.’

‘They don’t teach that at Gotham Academy.’ Tim grins.

‘Damn, because they sure teach it at Smallville.’

‘Oh yeah, and you’re an expert.’

‘I have six and a half Michelin stars in kissing.’

‘And none in maths.’

‘You want me to teach you how to kiss people or not? Shut up, Wonder Boy.’ Conner gently pushes Tim’s shoulder.

‘Okay. Sorry. Is there anything else I need to know?’ Tim’s voice is serious again. Conner wouldn’t be surprised if he started taking notes. This is his Robin brain, smart and logical and calculating.

‘Don’t overthink it,’ says Conner, leaning back and talking more quietly now. ‘It’s - it’s not something you have to do perfectly every time. It’s more the thought that counts. And if someone really likes you, they won’t care if you’re a bad kisser. They’d give you a second chance, or as many as you needed.’

Conner is suddenly aware that he and Tim are very close. There’s barely inches between their faces. Tim’s eyes seem very blue. Conner gets a strange urge to brush Tim’s hair out of his eyes. And perhaps an urge to do more than that.

Tim holds his gaze, lips slightly parted.

‘So you just do it?’ he says.

‘Yeah. It’s probably an idea to ask first, but yeah.’

‘Okay.’ Tim pauses.

Then he whispers, ‘You want to try it out?’


End file.
